how to divorce the male lead - chapter 21
On the way back to the carriage, Evan remained silent as if he were angry.
For the first time, he gazed outside with a chilling demeanor.
The night breeze stirred up Yuliana’s muffler messily through the open window. Yuliana silently endured, merely adjusting the muffler with the wind.
After a while, Evan spoke up.
“When you were sick for two days, do you know how much I wanted to stay by your side? I bet I understood you better than a maid who just started working.”
Leaning against the window with one hand, he continued speaking to himself.
“More than anything else by your side, I can make up for that value. Haven’t I been useful to you even once?”
“You have been useful. I’m sorry for that,” Yuliana replied reluctantly, then furrowed her determined eyebrows.
“I knew you were lying in bed, so I figured out what I was reading there too. It’s a book Ana sneakily brought in.”
Yuliana took out a book from her bag.
It was a novel satirizing noble divorces, gaining popularity among nobles for its witty tone. It also introduced ways to divorce in the Ariagnian Empire. For the latter reason, Yuliana intended to read it as a reference.
However, she couldn’t finish it again because the process of reaching a divorce agreement seemed too one-sided and hurtful for one party.
Why couldn’t she read a novel where one side gets hurt again?
Yuliana sensed her change of heart. Unlike in the past when it was easy to hurt Evan, she couldn’t do it now.
But even so, she couldn’t truly trust him. Two months after realizing her past life, she couldn’t fully trust and love him.
She just wanted to run away. The thought of dying without escaping from her desperate life in her past life couldn’t be erased.
“Leave me alone for a while,” Yuliana said.
Yuliana was a 20-year-old who had lived two lives, so she was tired.
How could she explain all of this? If she said this, would you be able to love me?
Perhaps, you, with your strong self-esteem, don’t know that you love me because I didn’t accept you. If I accept your heart, you’ll go to the original female protagonist who will soon appear. To her.
“I don’t want to consider divorce in such a childish way. That’s too childish.”
“Do you still think I’m lacking?” Evan extended one hand beyond the window to let it sway through the night breeze.
He furrowed one eyebrow slightly. Was it because of the skin that looked blue under the moonlight? He looked more like a god than the statue he saw in the temple.
Yuliana swallowed a gulp of saliva, trying to look like her past self.
“Yes.”
“Hmm.”
Despite the jostling movements inside the carriage, Evan effortlessly leaned over to the other side without any sway. Yuliana pressed herself against the carriage wall as his knees came uncomfortably close.
“W-what are you doing?”
“Yuliana, you know about that?”
“About what?”
Yuliana swiftly turned her head, and a corner of the crumpled muffler brushed against Evan’s cheek.
Why?
In her blurred vision, he buried his face in the muffler, tilting his lips upward to smile.
“The Blue Rose Tournament is coming up soon. It’s a foolish fencing competition where noble idiots with two feet and two hands all participate. You know, knights riding noble steeds, ready to pierce their hearts to offer roses to idolized ladies.”
“Is that so?”
“Pretending not to know, huh? I know you received several roses at the last tournament.”
“As you said, it’s all just pointless.”
Yuliana awkwardly laughed and fixed her gaze outside the carriage window. Even though she didn’t look at him, Evan replied.
“I know. It’s all pointless. That’s why I haven’t participated so far. Just because I stick a lance into the hearts of young admirers doesn’t mean I can win your love, right?”
“You know that.”
“But...”
Evan carefully gripped the fluttering end of the muffler and continued speaking.
“Even so, I can’t miss the chance to legally deal with those scoundrels who bother you. Since you’ve been openly accompanying me, keeping an eye on them, I should play along with the rhythm, right?”
“...I knew that.”
Yuliana forced out a pretentious tone.
Normally, she wouldn’t have had a shred of hesitation about exploiting him, but things were different now.
Yuliana tried to ignore the dull ache pressing against her heart and lowered her gaze. Evan draped the muffler, fluttering aimlessly, over her shoulders as he looked at her.
“Yuliana.”
“...”
Yuliana cautiously lifted her head at the sound of her name being called.
Her eyes were trembling with fear. Unable to guess where that fear came from or if it would ever disappear, Evan simply whispered, gazing at her intently.
“It’s okay to use me. Just don’t try to use me by saying you’ll leave.”
As soon as he finished speaking, she forced out a breath she had been holding back. Simultaneously, Yuliana bit down hard on her lower lip. Evan felt a sense of anxiety as he greedily watched her chubby lower lip, slightly raised from being bitten.
The anxious tension was oddly satisfying. Yuliana Oben wouldn’t know that even if he got angry or anxious, it wasn’t so bad in front of her.
But it was okay.
This level of secrecy was worth keeping.
After digesting what had happened at Lady Elcelly’s mansion, a completely refreshed Yuliana set foot in the Duke’s library for the first time.
The library, passed down through generations, contained many books that were hard to find even in the royal palace library. There were also many magical books that Yuliana, a mage herself, had never seen before.
Thanks to the many dukes who were skilled in both swordsmanship and magic, the library housed a vast array of books in various fields.
Looking up at the high ceiling of the spacious library, Yuliana marveled.
“I’ve lived for two years and never come here once. Past me was quite something.”
Of course, there were many reasons why she wasn’t close to the library.
Although she was a mage, Yuliana wasn’t the type to put in honest effort. Thanks to being born with a body naturally attuned to magic, drawing mana from the air was easier for her than walking or talking. So, she was inherently different from other mages who became proficient through strenuous effort.
“...Born with a silver spoon as a mage.”
Yuliana muttered to herself as she reached for a nearby shelf and casually flipped through a book.
It was a magic textbook she had seen when she was five. While she had heard that older students at other magical academies studied similar theories, for young Yuliana, the content of this book was child’s play.
She pushed the book back without much interest.
“Where is it?”
Setting aside childhood memories, she left the section of magical books in search of the “history” section.
Fortunately, within her sight, there was a book titled “History and Adventures of the Empire.” It was a book familiar to Yuliana, who had been taught at home by a private tutor instead of attending an academy.
Unfortunately, due to her lack of interest in studies other than magic, Yuliana was ignorant of other fields.
As she pulled out the heavy book from the shelf, dust billowed up, making everything white. Yuliana carried the book to a secluded corner and sat down.
Even though it was a remote corner, sunlight streamed in through the wide and large windows, illuminating every corner. Yuliana neatly arranged the cushion against her back and opened the book, firming her resolve.
“Alright. Let’s begin.”
With that decision made, she meticulously started reading to immerse herself in the contents of the book. When she couldn’t understand something, she even voiced it out loud.
“Originally, there were no owners of the Empire’s land—”
The Ariakne Empire was a nation that invaded and settled on the land of the Tamin people. These people had reached this land by crossing the mountains and plains in the distant north. In the land, which had clear seasons and was abundant, only a few tribes lived in disorder...
“Disorderly?”
Yuliana furrowed her brow.
‘This is too much—'